My insular trepidation unaddressed. I flow between the people in duress. Amok with aloof worry, uncertain of my ability.
Fluent theology has defined me, its rapid intensity has ruined me, their cognitive implants have confined me, but realistic questions have freed me.
I flow beneath, I do. Through the people I see, the stories I watch, the youth unborn, my mirror unwashed.
Why is unequivocal, but an answer forbidden. Why is a wonder, its ephemerality is a never. Why is a question, not to be unfited, its answer is unheard, and has yet to be delivered.
To recapture the youth that was stolen, to embark on a life of fun, to defend tranquility as a given, to move on and away and be done.
To relive my stolen past, to recreate its elusive push, to redo it once again, to decided and then push it through.
Dreary clouds roll away, sunlight breaks. A day is born again, and tomorrows promises elate.
I will lean on its complexity and fulfill the if to its full. I may look at others and follow, even if that is a fool.
I now recreate and live on, define life as I see fit. I leave behind my darkness, to live as an emancipated elite.
Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry
Monday, May 17, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Picture Of the Rebbe
I'm visit my parent house, I see a card on the floor, so I bend down to pick it up. It's not a card it's a small picture of the Rebbe. I automatically draw the to my mouth to kiss is before I put away.....
I jerk back in amused thoughtfulness when I realized what I was about to do. I smile and think to myself, "I guess my friend was right".
I jerk back in amused thoughtfulness when I realized what I was about to do. I smile and think to myself, "I guess my friend was right".
Monday, April 12, 2010
Burnt Out
In a moment of clarity I realized that because I gave it all in the frum world I am so afraid to really go all the way for anything ells. The effort for college is closer to half ass attempt. I am totally burned out.
I assume that this is felt more by ppl who “frayed out” a little later in life.
Ok I need therapy- but I wanted to share it with you chevreh first....
I assume that this is felt more by ppl who “frayed out” a little later in life.
Ok I need therapy- but I wanted to share it with you chevreh first....
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Chometz or No Chometz
So these girls at school were quoting the bible about Pesach how if you eat Chometz you get kures. Now I'm conflicted to perhaps keep Pesach (and kick off a diet), or take this opportunity to get "cut off".
Kurest, Chassidus explains is.... Ok there is 5 levels to the Nishama - ruach, nefesh, nishomoh, chayuh, yechidah. The inyan of kures is ....
Why am I still dealing with these things?
I found it interesting that many secular Jews refrain from eating "Hametz" on Pesach as well.
Kurest, Chassidus explains is.... Ok there is 5 levels to the Nishama - ruach, nefesh, nishomoh, chayuh, yechidah. The inyan of kures is ....
Why am I still dealing with these things?
I found it interesting that many secular Jews refrain from eating "Hametz" on Pesach as well.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Oy usually I am very supportive of people no matter what general direction they decide to go.
This morning while talking to some Jewish kid in college, I gave such a "vish up" about this whole bull shit concept of freedom on Pesach, and how real freedom is doing and eating whatever the hell you want on Pesach. He got so insulted. I didn't realize that he was frum (he was wearing a huddy).
I think I said sorry to him, but I now have to tshuvah between me and the aibishter.
This morning while talking to some Jewish kid in college, I gave such a "vish up" about this whole bull shit concept of freedom on Pesach, and how real freedom is doing and eating whatever the hell you want on Pesach. He got so insulted. I didn't realize that he was frum (he was wearing a huddy).
I think I said sorry to him, but I now have to tshuvah between me and the aibishter.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Oy I Ate... Bacon!
Wow I can't believe I ate bacon, it's disgusting!
It's actually very good, but ich it's chazer!
Just another step farther away, just another step freer....
I decided to finally put my past behind me and only look to the future. It's the best decision anyone can make. I literally imagined turning around in a long tunnel away from the past and in towards the future.
BTW I may eat bacon but I will NOT be touching gebrux this Pesach....
It's actually very good, but ich it's chazer!
Just another step farther away, just another step freer....
I decided to finally put my past behind me and only look to the future. It's the best decision anyone can make. I literally imagined turning around in a long tunnel away from the past and in towards the future.
BTW I may eat bacon but I will NOT be touching gebrux this Pesach....
GEBRUUUUUUUX!!!
"wow wooow WOW!!!!! WATCH OUT! GEBRUUUUUX!"
Apparently there are some terrible things on this world:
The Ebola virus
The Holocaust
Gebrux
Drinking OUTSIDE the Sukkah
Serial killers
Apparently there are some terrible things on this world:
The Ebola virus
The Holocaust
Gebrux
Drinking OUTSIDE the Sukkah
Serial killers
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Purposely Fray
So,
Those people that have a purpose and work towards a goal that is greater then themselves tend to be happier and feel more fulfilled.
The Frum world has it, Chabad has it, and the (Israeli) army has it.
In the liberated fray world, where is to be found?
Those people that have a purpose and work towards a goal that is greater then themselves tend to be happier and feel more fulfilled.
The Frum world has it, Chabad has it, and the (Israeli) army has it.
In the liberated fray world, where is to be found?
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Yiddisheh "Wisdom" From My Father...
Some outlooks on life:
"The Reform movement started in Germany= and that's where the holocaust happened"
"Because they said that even god can not sink the titanic= god proved them wrong"
"He said he wanted to marry a "Modern" girl= now god showed him and he has marriage problems"
"The Reform movement started in Germany= and that's where the holocaust happened"
"Because they said that even god can not sink the titanic= god proved them wrong"
"He said he wanted to marry a "Modern" girl= now god showed him and he has marriage problems"
Monday, January 18, 2010
Haiti & the Krankeh Shliach
"So, why does god do such a thing to people in Haiti????" asks the Shliach while focusing only on the mens section, "it is to reaffirm the faith the Jewish people have in him because we don't understand why god does such things" he then adds, "but we have to believe in god enough so that he shouldn’t have to do thing like this"
Nebach!
Nebach!
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