Saturday, May 23, 2009

Open House and Open Mind

So I went to the open house at Kingsboro College.

After the welcoming (sales) speech I proceeded to the next section of the open house which took place in a huge room overlooking the ocean. I walked in and was amazing to say the least spread across the room were tables upon tables each one representing another subject being taught at college. For me this was like what Gan Eden would be for a misnaged (lol!). Here are real college professors ready to explain, to me, subjects that I am dying to learn about. Naturally, I go straight to the psychology table and not realizing who professors are etc I jokingly ask the women if she does any pro- bono work! She gives me this coldish look and I excuse myself while I sit down to hear what its all about. Turns out after two years I can get an actual professional although low level job, something I always knew but never was never so tangible.

Next I stop by the geek squad, the Library table. This girl-professor looks like the oldest she can be is maybe 23 but apparently she did double masters plus regular college plus a PHD which adds up to a lot of years in school (is it just me or is asking someone were they bought their PHD make you look Peter Griffin?). Anyway, I was gonna ask her for her number but I know I can just bump into her anytime at the library. Being that she had no one on line to ask her any questions I asked her to explain to me some basics like what in the world a credit is and what that thing I always hear people at footsteps yapping about, their GPA. She actually thought I was making fun of her! Here is a seemingly intelligent person dressed like an average American, no accent at all, but is totally clueless about the classes’ structure or credits etc. I was compelled to explain myself and I told her briefly “Grew up in Crown Heights, went to Yeshivah all my life, was never at a college before”. I got that “ok” look from her but now I know that my GPA will be 4.0 or above!

The next table I went to was really something I never even heard of in my life: apparently they have a special section in college just for people, with disabilities. Wow, I mean in Yeshivah they don’t even recognize disabilities (I know I know, Frum people are the kindest people in the world- hahahah). Anyway, in yeshivah they don’t laugh at psychology or the understanding of mind or human nature that’s because they never even heard of that concept. They study chassidush which supposedly teaches you about the inner workings of the mind and heart etc but unfortunately religion plays a big role and defeats its ostensible purpose. Anyway this table has a board with pictures of famous people on it. Turns out Steven shpielberg is ADD and Abraham Lincoln had a “mood disorder”. Fuckin frum people have this disdain for anything with a name on that professes and air of professionalism, they are threatened by those “evil” forces. I get to chat with this hot Italian professor that is manning the syco (“Pulneh Mishgineh!”) table. Turns out that she her parents are immigrants from Italy and like frum Jews they despise any form of therapy etc. I compulsively ask her out (“would you go out with a Jewish guy?”) and she enlightens me to the fact that unless I already graduated, I should try to refrain ever asking out a professor…. Margret Goldstock is the history professor; she loves my passion and wants me to be part of the honor program.

College is no heaven, most probably just another sales company and a scum world like corporate America. However, all the shit I ever heard about college and how college isn’t important, is just not true. Just another lie dispelled.