In a moment of clarity I realized that because I gave it all in the frum world I am so afraid to really go all the way for anything ells. The effort for college is closer to half ass attempt. I am totally burned out.
I assume that this is felt more by ppl who “frayed out” a little later in life.
Ok I need therapy- but I wanted to share it with you chevreh first....
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
A bleak and lonely road.... but to freedom....
After my journey of uncertainty, undecidedness, and self dilemma of either staying in my community or moving out... I decided that I should most definitely NOT stay Frum. The eradication and repudiation of all that I was taught to be holy, has allowed me to be on the road toward happiness and productivity. The secular world isn’t as evil as frum people make to be and is certainly less evil then the frum world itself.
Footsteps
Are these people right when they tell me "You will be Frum again one day"
My Road Aheah.....
A bleak and lonely road.... but to freedom....
6 comments:
I suspect that if you gave it your all, as you say, then the dissenchantment/dissillusionment with the frum world may have been particularly hard. The higher they climb, the harder they fall. Perhaps you need to give yourself some time to recover. Are you in college full or part time?
Of course you feel it's hard to get out, because your whole life you were brought up frum. The frum world is all you knew. No offense, now you are like a baby in the real world starting to learn knew things. Eventually non of this stuff will bother you anymore, it just takes time.
Find something you love or something you care about-- not because someone told you to love it or care about it, but just because you do. Then, get as involved as you please-- the effort will come naturally. College is a great place to do this, because of the variety of choices available.
Consider these links:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ells
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/else
I stumbled upon your blog after digging deep on Google for some other things, this is divine providence! Do Teshuva! It is never too late!
yeah i know the feeling. like why try so hard, if it may end up being a lemon anyway just like frumkeit turned out?
The thing you may not realize yet, is that throwing yourself into these frum things wasn't a total waste of times. there's a lot of experience you got there that will serve you well once you get over the bad.
applying the business model- don't t hey say 9/10 of businesses fail? and yet the ones who succeed are the ones who took it as a challenge.
Post a Comment