Sunday, October 4, 2009

"Ah Shvereh Leben"

In Yeshivah they always promoted a hard life, lack of sleep, and lack of enjoyment.

The historical basis for this propensity comes from a nostalgic desire to relive the hard days of communist Russia. Starting with the 1917 communist revolution followed by the purges of the 30s, religious Jews and Chassidim in particular were targeted by the communist government. It was a hard life for Chassidim, and many were actually killed for trying to preserve Jewish life.

Fast forward to the end of the 20th century go into the halls and minds of the Chabad Yeshivah system you will find that the ongoing overall outlook on life has a foundation which is deeply rooted on reliving that difficult past. They are so impressed and inspired by the stories of "Mesiras Nefesh" (self sacrifice) that they feel guilty for not facing these same challenges on a daily basis.

For example, examine the simple thought process that would play itself out with this type of looserish self deprivation. The Yeshiva boy thinks to himself “After all, if Mendle Futerfas "mistakenly" fell off a boat just to go to the Mikveh, then how dare I enjoy a good night sleep, put on warm clothe, and go to the Mikveh with a clean towel?” Another demented train of thought, “If some Chassidim (supposedly) broke ice in the early winter morning, in Shtetelgrad, just to go to the Mikveh before Davening, how dare I drink coffee before Davening and enjoy it with sugar.”

This sick pathetic injustice that has been done to a generation is not only sad but eternally damaging. I sit down to study math and it’s going well, but all of a sudden I have this (not so subconscious) feeling of guilt about being so comfortable and not struggling, I am having it too “easy”.

I realize that I may never truly get away from this negative, difficult, self-destructive outlook, so my personal revenge is to break Shabbos and piss on everything holy. Not that the two equate, but what ells am I suppose to do? Besides, it feels good and it believe it or not, it helps!

This is my rant

4 comments:

e said...

"Chassidishkeit is a mental disorder."

Mordy said...

OMFG. Your delivery is superb, man. I was literally rolling from געלעכטער about the "demented train of thought" and Reb Mendel story. Keep it up, man. You rock!!!!!

Frum No More said...

Thanks Mordy!

E- Eyen Michael Savage

Anonymous said...

I can totally identify with your feeling of trying to relive 'shtetlegrad'!

But it's not unique to Chabad - almost every religion teaches to distance oneself from 'wordly pleasures'. It's an essential element of becoming more spiritually focused.

However it becomes problematic when what 'should' be an inner desire to be more spiritually focused becomes a show for people around you, and when 'going beyond the letter of the law' becomes the 'law' itself (which is what has happened to halacha as a whole, since the days of the misha).