I am so distressed! My mind is racing! I wonder these days…. Is it wrong to do something purely based on emotion? If the answer is “yes!” and “fraying out” because of an emotional reason would be wrong then let me tell you that you’ll never know until you experience it yourself to understand what the other person went through. That person had no choice but to "run" away and leave behind all the negativity that was tied into being frum? I spoke to a frum therapist. He said that just because someone has personal issues, why should religion be the first thing to go?
Good Question! Ok, let’s take item by item;
Friday night? Would I like to suffer through a Shabbos meal, a meal filled with negativity hearing about everyone who is sick and dying, being criticized constantly, and looked at by my parents like a radchmonus case because I am not married yet?
Teffilin: do I want to put on Teffilin and ruin my day? Teffilin has three different concepts. Putting mind over matter, remembering our escape from Egypt (translating that as an escape from out personal Egypt etc), and refining the world (Teffilin is leather which can be used for shoes) and making it something holy. (Ha! In my chabad days I used to tell people all the good things Teffilin can bring, which it may for some people) Teffilin for me is a negative experience, it reminds me and brings me back to the frum negative world.
Kosher: Kosher works well for me actually.
Dating: Don’t get me started, but the frum world is so messed up when it comes to dating. Why should I have to “settle” for a frum girl if she won’t “settle” for me when we all “settle” for each other? Should I suffer through the humiliating process or should I look for alternatives. I believe in honesty and so far the secular world of dating is very confusing for me….
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2 comments:
Dear Should I be Frum or Not
Hang in there. You'll reach a decision sooner or later. Don't rush it. As for my dillema..briefly. I no longer believe the Torah is from God. I still believe in God, though. I still practice many ritual mitzvot in public (trying to be kosher as much as possible, washing my hands,putting on Tefillin every day, wearing a yalmulke). In other ways I break halacha..I use the internet, telephone, telivision, lights on Shabbos. The only thing I don't do is not get on a bus on Shabbos and I expect to break that one as well. I live in a frum area in Brooklyn and I can't just go out and do everything I want publicly. So I just take it one day at a time. I guess you could say I am semi-frum. I like the community..I don't like most of the restriction. Maybe traditional is how I kind of feel. Technically, not frum but I still feel it in many ways. Darwin and my own lack of success in the frum singles scene have what to do with it. Hang in there. You'll be yourself one day.
if you don't want your tefillin, give them to me
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